You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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