she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
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What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
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Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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