I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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