So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
