I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
