Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
you never un-have a 4some
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
