why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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