she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
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I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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