I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
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also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
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I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
last night I used snow as a chaser
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