Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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