You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
