i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
where are my eyebrows?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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