i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
