Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
