Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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