That's when you crack a 10am beer
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
