hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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