Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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