In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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