you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
