So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
