no, he came in my armpit
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
