the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
