You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
