Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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