so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
