dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
