gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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