I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
