I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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