people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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