gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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