...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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