p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize