so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
