and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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