Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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