i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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