I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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