My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
