OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
