My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He better not be in your backpack
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It's shark week go big or go home
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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