from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
