Four minutes until I can fart!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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