You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
