So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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