She said her name was "party"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
