he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize
