Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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