That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
