I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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