I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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