Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
