do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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