Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize