I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize