rhymes with "ouble enetration"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize