we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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