I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I party with great urgency now.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
