All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
