I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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