everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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