thus making me awesome and them whores
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize