he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
