Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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