Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
