butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
