If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
We are two peas in an std pod
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize