part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
