Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I supernannyed him into submission
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
