Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
