I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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